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Feb 15, 2020
Army Fete 2020

Army Fete 2020

After the great Army Fete robbery of 2019 there was no way I was going to fall for their tomfoolery this year. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and I look for what I get for being dotish.

As a recap, last year the bright sparks who organized the fete decided to put the VIP section further away from the stage than General and charge twice the price. If that wasn't enough they decided for good measure to stop us from going back and forth between VIP and General.

So this year we made the decision to take our chances in General. Yeah I know we don't have to worry about Coronavirus just yet but in the General section you have to worry about White Oak and Puncheon virus.

I would just like to say it's about time they change that stupid law against civilians wearing camouflage. The only people who abide by it is people like me who are afraid to end up having to go home in their jockey-shorts.

While we on outfits, last night the ladies went all out. I didn't see any frilly panties but there were netted tights like peas. There was a woman in a full camouflage catsuit and one in a jeans jacket and a panty alone.

As an aside, could someone pass on to the organizers that they need to adjust the lights from the stage. I left my Life Alert necklace at home so we had to move to the back to avoid me getting a seizure from those lights.

Army is not advertised as a cooler fete but people always manage to sneak in a little something. Last night men moving through the crowd with a dead-man cooler and we were worried about bringing in 3 Blue Waters bottles of gin and 2 bottles of tonic water.

First of all Whitney Husbands need to turn down the tone on she voice. She was shouting and the timbre of her voice was like nails on a black board.

Speaking of which, the soundsystem was garbage. It made the artistes sound tone deaf and off-key. Nailah I could understand but any system that makes Nadia and Patrice sound bad needs to be thrown into the labasse.

Trinidad Killa. Good lord. Let me hush my mouth eh because he might make a video or his fan demographic might put on their wife-beaters and three-quarters and come for me. Killa aggravate me so much with that Gun Man in She Hole song that when he sing Dy Zess I was too annoyed to care. He went from bad to worse when he brought out DJ Bravo to sing that Champion bollocks.

As I always say, Army is the place to see almost every single artiste. However, I think Army needs to cut down on the number of scrub artistes they bring so that way the bigger names or those with hits for the season could have more time on stage.

Imagine big bad Bunji Garlin on stage talking about they rushing him. I mean that could have been part of his performance for his leave me on the stage tune but I felt like he was rushed. It doesn't help that he has to share time with Fay Ann. Speaking of Fay Ann, I'm glad she finally has another big tune and no longer just singing back up for Bunji. It's been a while.

Almost forgot, a DJ proposed to his woman during Bunji and Fay Ann's performance. How you go propose the same day Machel get married? Oh gosh first it's Iwer and Kees now a next man trying to steal Machel thunder.

The highlight of the night was Kes The Band. The second hottest red man in T&T (I'll give you one guess who's #1) is having a monster season. As usual he brought on Voice and Iwer but this time I finally got to see him perform Pick a Side with Erphaan Alves. I always liked Erphaan, the man voice smooth like the 4 coats of vaseline on his lips.

Well yeah, once Kees was done that was my cue to leave. I wasn't into listening to the next artiste go on and on about how happy or how much in love they are.

Once again at $300 for General Admission Army is value for money. They just need to fix the sound system, give the big tonto performers more time and explicitly allow me to wear my camouflage (which I don't have so don't come search my house).

TANA


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