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Mar 1, 2019

Farmhouse cooler

Oh ma gerd!....this fete is a winner! This was my first time at this fete but it won't be my last. Hear nah, I only found out the fete was on the boardwalk in Chaguaramas when we reach by Alcoa (where people bathe horses and some people catch fish...mmm-hmm). I must admit I was like "the boardwalk? No no no.... include me OUT of that padna" I've spent years honing my snobness by watching countless episodes of Fraser. I mean I didn't leave my house to listen to loud music by the sea, bathe in a swimsuit covered by a jersey, drink too much rum and walk across the street in my jockey shorts. But the party was legit.

Both Farmhouse and Beachhouse were down Chaguaramas at around the same time so the traffic was bad but it wasn't terrible. Maybe the drive didn't seem so bad because I wasn't driving and because I was priming up with my homie Gordon's (gin) and tonic. Once you passed Glencoe it was moving though.

We were fortunate enough to find a best park close to the entrance....or so we thought. A "ticket entrepreneur" informed us that the Chaguaramas Development Authority (CDA) wrecking cars like how Blaxx wrecking homes...."some boy go lose they car tonight, CDA go touch it for yuh".

CDA does let you park and act like "yeah man it's all good" then yuh come outside after the party and yuh car missing. Then yuh hadda call yuh ex to come pick yuh up and answer questions like "why yuh park there?" or "how come things didn't work out between us when I used to go church and market with yuh moms".

I tell the "one-man ticketmaster" thanks and yup you guessed it he tried to sell me a ticket. He asked for a drink from the cooler but I guess his palate was too refined for my homie Gordon. The man face looked like I offered him caraili and a Tuesday on the Rocks General admission ticket.

Once inside, the party was real vibes. I ain't know if it was because we reached late or because I was pumping with Gordon since left home but the party had a spirit.

The venue was very scenic, it was to the right of this Scallywag place, on the boardwalk by the ocean. There was lots of space, plenty bars even though it was a cooler fete, food available for purchase AND free doubles and corn soup. Yes meh bredren/sistren...it was a 'small-inclusive'! The only downside was that Farmhouse smelled like a barn, which coincidentally is part of their logo. However, seeing that the fete had a premium feel I'm sure it was top shelf manure I was smelling.

As I mentioned manure.....somebody needs to stand next to DJs and remind them, with a taser, to play 2019 soca. Private Ryan is not the worst offender eh but jah! He always watering down current year soca with one setta "tring-gum" tune from 19-how-long. My other issue with Ryan is that just when a song reach your favorite part he mix in a new one. It doesn't matter if it's the first verse, third verse or the intro....once Ryan see you liking it boom new chune. Somebody really hadda Brainwash me to ever go Soca Heatstroke on a Carnival Saturday.

I was surprised there were no performances at the party though. I mean not even an Iwer appearance for a free ticket?? However, there was a woman rolling with a cardboard box strapped to her head (pic to follow). Yes! Gordon and I couldn't believe it either!! A plain brown box. It had to be an expensive box too because famalay had a meltdown when she thought she lost it. I may be out of touch but when did packaging become a style??? Should I rock a bubble wrap headband to the next fete?? Gordon thinks so.

Anyway...before I ramble on and on let me wrap up because AM Bush is tomorrow and I want to write a lil pre-Bush something.

Farmhouse is a great Carnival Thursday option. I would rate this fete a respectable 7/10 in the overall fete category but a 9 in the Cooler Fete sub-category. They coulda get a perfect score if they had Lil Natty and Thunda come and order me into my section or created some more Pandemonium. Yeah this rating scale keeps evolving. Lol

TANA

Next up: AM BUSH...2am tomorrow

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