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Feb 16, 2020
FATIMA All-inclusive 2020

FATIMA All-inclusive 2020

Fatima fete is always a tricky review for me. This fete is a couple weeks after Fete with the Saints and I am always tempted to make comparisons between the two. It's bad enough ladies always telling Fatima men "why you can't be like that CIC man?" without me doing the same to their fete.

Fatima provided shuttles from the parking area to the entrance even though parking was in the grounds across the street. This was actually a good idea seeing that the average age of the fete was about 55 years old.

Apparently I missed the memo that there was a theme for the night. Several people kept telling me I was supposed to wear white. Let me be clear to all promoters, you could ask me to wear anything you want but you can't make me.

Well by now you should know my modus operandi in an all-inclusive. First order of business is always to get food so as to build a solid base from which I can launch into the next 6 hours of binge drinking.

There were lots of food options for meat eaters but not many options if you're a vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan or other variation of grass eater like myself. So when I saw the chicken/shrimp fettuccine station my eyes lit up like how Dwayne Bravo does watch Ali Khan.

However, upon reaching the front of the line we were told there was no more shrimp. That's right, the fete started at 5pm and food stuff already started to run out before 7pm. This was an ominous sign of things to come but at that point I paid it no mind. I also tried to ignore the fact that after being in a sushi line long like long division I was told you were limited to 3 tiny pieces.

Describing the layout of Fatima fete is always difficult. The food stations are located in classrooms throughout the school while the bars and stage are in the center courtyard area. There's also a food court located in the street behind Fatima which you get to through a gate at the side of the stage. There was even a NLCB Lotto booth in the main party area so you coulda buss a wine and play a mark.

All of this could be confusing and overwhelming for a first time patron but alas every year my pleas for some sort of location map at the entrance falls on deaf ears.

The event was hosted by Nikki Crosby and Ro'dey (who was holding on for JW of JW and Blaze renown). My girl Nikki was rocking a Machel inspired, dame la reine, fancy up wedding dress, and a pair of white Converse.

As far a performers goes Fatima is like a mini Army Fete. We were treated to Blaxx, Teddyson John, Dil E Naddan, David Rudder, Motto, Nadia Batson, Patrice Roberts, Skinny Banton, Sekon Sta, Nailah, Erphaan Alves, Ricardo Drue and Lyrikal among others. The main attraction was Kes The Band and I believe Bunji Garlin and his band but when we left at midnight there was no sign of Garlin and company (we'll get to this just now).

At one point there was a brief fireworks display from the roof of the school. They could have warned people before hand seeing that half the crowd was probably taking heart medication.

David Rudder ran through his compendium of hits in 12 melodious minutes while Sekon Sta and friends felt like they were on stage for hours. You would listen to him, engage in conversation with people, go to the bar, do your taxes and then realize wait, he still on stage?? And yet again he went into this long session of old time music like we were in Calypso Revue.

While I'm at it let me address this Sekon Sta song Waste Man which I've been dying to do. If the young lady screen shot all your texts and post it up on the net then how is she lying on you Mr Sta? The only person lying on Sekon Sta is Sekon Sta.

Meanwhile back at the ranch...

The bars were decently stocked and they had the good sense to make sure there was lots of gin. However, one of the bars ran out of tonic water at 9:30pm. Sometime after 11pm the bars were only giving out bottles of water. Needless to say patrons, and more specifically myself, were not pleased as the fete was still going on.

After Kees's performance there was the usual mass exodus as if there was a must see late night episode of Murder She Wrote. While we were in the 45 minutes of traffic to leave the parking area we heard Bunji Garlin and Viking Ding Dong on stage at 12:30am to what would have probably been a scanty crowd. Why would you advertise your fete to last from 5pm to 12am and then bring on performers at 12:30am?

All in all Fatima All-inclusive was ok. The demographic is comparable to a UWI fete but the vibes was a little more subdued. There were lots of positives but also some things that they need to fix if they continue to market themselves as a premium all-inclusive.

Hopefully I'm allowed back on the premises next year to see.


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