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May 1, 2022

Previously on "Trinidad"

I was really trying to keep quiet and bat in my crease yuh know but the cartoon show that is Trinidad keeps begging me to give my mouth liberty. I don't know which is worse, the fact that a single fungus infected tree could fall and plunge an entire nation into darkness for 12 hours or the fact that nobody saw it as an issue to reveal our single point of failure for the entire power grid to the world.

Now I could understand if it was a tree like the ones in Lord of The Rings, you know the ones that look like the calypsonian Crazy as a Moko Jumbie covered in Amens powder but somehow I always feel these reports are works of pure fiction. The even more impressive part is that these people always announce these ludicrous findings with a level of confidence only seen on Maracas Beach, where men looking like beached whales rolling in the sea foam near the shore line in speedos and calling out to somebody girl child "baby...yuh like what you see?"

Then we had this apparent massive cyberattack that crippled Massy Stores. I could just imagine being in a line waiting to cash my Gordon's gin and Schweppes tonic water (waiting for my brand ambassador deal) only to hear the system is down. Then again if it was a line in RBC all now I'm still there thinking it's the usual tellers who need Zentel for the worms...always moving at the speed of cold condensed milk flowing out of a tin you only opened one side a novice.

I shouldn't be too hard on RBC because if it were not for their vigilance I would be in a world of problems today. You see my friends, I too was a victim of a cyberattack this week. Somehow, somewhere, someone...over the a hold of my credit card information and tried to go on an online designer clothes shopping spree. Idiots! Even RBC knows I buy things for my wife at Old Navy and Burlington not Club Monaco.

The worst part of it is that now I feel so vulnerable because I have no idea where I could have compromised my card. I haven't been to any houses if ill repute recently or visited any questionable websites other than the Trinidad Express. Ok, cheap shot but whatever.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that unlike T&TEC you should always trim your bush and watch out for these cyber bandit and dem in their Chinese grocery rubber slippers on their virtual bicycles.


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